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Rock Climbing and the Art of Persuasion

By Susan Oloier

Found in: | Outside | Climbing | Rock Climbing |

I love it when kids get out on the rock. I've seen preschoolers scrambling faces at Mt. Eldon in Flagstaff, witnessed a preteen ascending routes with his dad at X-rock in Durango, and listened to Tommy Caldwell talk about climbing with his father at four years of age. So, I think: Why not Justin?

Jeff and I have rock climbed pretty regularly for the past 10 years. Though our climbing habits and frequency have changed since becoming parents, we try to get on the rock whenever we feasibly can. That is not too often these days. Nevertheless, we continue to cling to the sport. Even though we live in Colorado now, we're still members of the Arizona Mountaineering Club where we got our start.

Like our love of skiing, we've tried to encourage Justin, our five-year-old, to participate in rock climbing. When he was two, we purchased a harness for him while visiting Joshua Tree National Park. At first, he made some attempts to climb, but preferred the sensation of being lowered. However, as he spent more and more time in his harness and on the wall, a distaste for the sport seemed to develop. Eventually, he would don the harness for style's sake, much like one would a Halloween costume or a snazzy new shirt. But when it came to tying in and putting foot to granite, he resisted. At one point, I bribed him with M&M's to get him to make a short ascent. It worked, but I really wanted his motivation to be intrinsic rather than by means of parental coercion. Not wanting to turn the sport of climbing into a negative experience - like getting a shot - we backed off when he complained too much, or when he cried.

On a recent outing to High Rappel Dells in Prescott, we took some first-time climbers with us. One of them was a teenage girl who we hoped would provide peer-like inspiration to Justin to climb. It has worked on its own in the past: If a kid in Justin's class likes Spider-Man, then so does Justin; if a friend of his joins T-ball, then Justin wants in, too. But rock climbing is one instance where he will not succumb to peer pressure. "Look, Justin!" we would say in our most upbeat voice. "Tessa's on the rock. Don't you want to try?" Justin would simply respond with a "that's okay" and go about his five-year-old business of looking for bugs.

In Prescott, Justin seemed willing to give one of the 5.6 routes a try. Jeff helped him into his harness, tied him in, and put him on belay. Without a single attempt, he declared, "I don't want to." We prodded. He resisted. He won. Justin spent the rest of the time exploring the terrain and playing with his little brother, Zane, who hung out in his Pack �?N Play.

I had no idea why our own flesh and blood was so opposed to something we truly loved. That is, until a trip to Durango Discovery Kids on the second floor of the Durango Arts Center. One day, as I carried Zane and his stroller up the steep steps, I noticed Justin lagging behind significantly. When I reached the top and looked down, he held a death grip on the railing. "Mommy, help me!" he pleaded with more than a touch of panic to his voice. He seemed to glance down the stairs as though he would fall to an imminent death. I realized then that he is afraid of heights. So we have elected not to force him into something he doesn't want to do, something he is afraid of. Better to let him kick a soccer ball around than create a lifelong hatred of rock climbing.

Jeff and I recently took a trip without the kids to City of Rocks in the southernmost part of Idaho while Justin and Zane stayed with their grandparents. Jeff's parents drove the boys over on our final day of climbing. We deliberately left Justin's harness at home, knowing that he has very little interest in using it these days. When we reunited with Justin and Zane, there were hugs and kisses and a firm declaration from Justin: "I want to climb, too."